a modern woman’s look at what it means to
be a bride — caught between feminist ideals
and the allure of the traditional wedding

Why is the traditional image of the bride before her wedding day that of a stressed and overly emotional woman, moody and frustrated, crazy with the pressure she is under and snapping at everyone in sight? Why does being a bride feel like going through a second adolescence? And why, over the last decade, has the wedding industry exploded into a hundred-billion-dollar-a-year industry that sends increasing numbers of newly married couples into debt? KamyWicoff answers these questions and more in this sure-to-be-talked-about look at the modern bride. I Do but I Don’t examines how the pressure to give into the crowd (mothers, mothers-in-law, bridesmaids, the groom himself) and the associated traditions (wearing white, being given away, being introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Groom) can sometimes be at odds with the what the bride and groom may have decided in private.Through personal experience, conversations with other women, and scholarly and popular research,Wicoff explains both the personal and the cultural meanings of all the trappings—from the proposal and the ring to the dress and even the bachelorette party. Her passionate argument for cleareyed, conscious marriage will ring true to all women, from those planning weddings and their mothers to women who have already married . . . and their mothers too! To keep our sanity and integrity intact,Wicoff says, “the way we marry matters.”